Woman first, mother second

Somewhere when we give birth, when we become mothers, womanhood gets lost. All of a sudden we don’t take the extra time to care for ourselves. Those regular self care appointments just get pushed back farther and farther on the calendar. This is how you end up with frumpy moms. There is nothing wrong with being frumpy if that was your style before you became a mom. But let’s be honest most mothers at one point cared about their appearance. They made sure when leaving the house they were presentable. I don’t know about y’all but I have left the house several times with stains on my clothes and I did not care one bit🤷🏽‍♀️. That is definitely something I would have never done before I became a mom. In the midst of caring about and for our children our self care begins to fade away. Sex is often one the first things to go which is a huge no no !! Enjoy sex girl! If anything you need it more than you did before.

Everything that personally made us a woman becomes at risk when become mothers. I for one think it’s because society pushes the idea that once a mother always a mother and nothing else. You can’t be a mother and be stylish. You can’t be a mother and be sexy, you can’t be a mother and be accomplished. You can’t be a mother and have a social life. The only thing you can do ifs work, take care of kids and your partner!! Did I catch you trying to put on lotion?! This is why women/mothers who seem to have it together are so alluring and amazing. We wonder HOW can she be a mom AND (insert amazing thing here)? The thing is moms, we don’t have to loose it. We don’t have to sacrifice our womanhood or personhood to raise wonderful children. We CAN do both. It all starts with self care. A mom of two once told me to wake up earlier and do what makes me smile in the morning. She told me everyday she wakes up before her children, takes a shower, puts on nice clothes and makes herself feel like she did before she had children. She said she is a better mother when she takes care of herself. By taking care of ourselves as women we allow ourselves to be better mothers because we are running on the best versions of ourselves. When I feel sluggish or feel like I look horrible, I am much more irritable than when I’m feeling fresh and took care of myself. So moms, please even if it’s just one day a week find a way to take care of you, don’t loose the woman you were before you became a mom. Woman first, mother second.

The Journey Begins

I’ve been wanting to blog for some time. I never got around to it because I always thought no one would be interested. I always thought I wouldn’t have enough time. I shouldn’t allow that to stop me from having a creative outlet and putting myself out there. I trimmed down my gel tips so that I could properly type. I am writing this post while breastfeeding my 17 month old to sleep. I’m determined this time to see how far I can take myself. Most of you probably know me on Instagram as Muva Epiphany. My real name is actually Epiphany and I am a sahm (stay at home mom) of 4 outrageous and loving children. I have two girls and two boys. I was lucky enough to be blessed with two of each. Life as a sahm isn’t easy. Life as a mom in general isn’t easy but it can be a bit better with some self care and some self love, all of which I promised myself self in the year of 2018. This blog is to express my thoughts, ideas and feelings well as sharing work from other black moms who inspire me and inspire others😊 I hope that you want to take this journey with me.